1 can of Bumblebee Tune (preferably solid white albacore)
Miracle Whip or Mayo (to taste)
Goldfish (to taste/texture)
Drain the water from the can of tuna. Put tuna in bowl with Miracle Whip. Stir together, using the edge of the spoon to break up the large chunks of tuna. Put goldfish on top of mixture and crush with spoon. Mix. Eat.
I think I need to go buy bread so I can just make a sandwich.