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Benabik Alvar
24 December 2002 @ 01:08 am
Returned home to VA... Returned to boredom. I have nothing to do here. Nobody to be with. I slept in and woke to an empty house. Sat around and read all day. Whee.

I miss my Becky. So used to just having her near. To talk to, to relax with... And at 'home' I end up doing a lot on my own.

I miss my roomies. Any time, day or night, if I end up bored I can go upstairs to the living room and just chill, watch TV with them, shoot the breeze.

I kinda miss my family. Things have changed over the last four years. A new person has been added to my family: Paula. She's a wonderful lady, very nice and fits in so well. She's like an older sister to me, it's kinda nice. And we do a ton of stuff with her family. Doing all the usual holiday stuff with her family. I miss doing stuff with my parents though. I can't even really bring to mind the last time my family went out to do something...

I miss the rest of my family too. It's been AGES since I've been out to California. I had hoped that maybe we'd spend X-Mas with them. Had so hoped. I hate my uncle. Went and fucked up my Christmas. Made it so my parents "didn't want to deal with the tension" or whatever.

Fuck him.

Wow, I'm bitter.

I don't have anything else to ramble about... *chuckles* I wonder if my parents read this thing at all. Probibly not. *shrugs*
 
 
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: Eric Clapton - Rollin' and Tumblin'
 
 
Benabik Alvar
24 December 2002 @ 07:44 am
8AM  
This is the second time in a week that I'm seeing eight "Amante Meridiem" from the wrong side. *sigh*

It's been a long long time since I've done something this silly without a good reason (like finishing that Final Paper...), but...

My biggest problem with sleep has always been the "getting to" part. I just don't like to stop everything, lay down, and close my eyes. It's a pain. Requires doing nothing for a while. I hate it.

I might be "home" right now, but I really can't wait until I go home to my Becky. It's kind of scary that I think of that messy townhouse with those roommate and a squatter as home... But it's where I stay with Becky. It's home.
 
 
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Original Broadway Cast - The Creation Of Man
 
 
 
Benabik Alvar
24 December 2002 @ 04:25 pm
Here's my holiday spirit: Humbug.

Don't have gifts for people because I've been broke all December (stupid scholarships taking nearly a month to process). Makes me feel a little bad... should have come up with something.

Slept in today (no surprise after the 8AM posting that I had stayed up to write, I suppose) and when I woke up I was all alone in the house. Apparently everyone went off to do stuff and nobody thought to include me. Isn't that wonderful?

*sighs* I really think that unless next year my family does Christmas with family (which generally involves plane tickets to IL or CA) I'm going to tag along with my Becky and do stuff with her.

Humbug.

Hopefully I'll cheer up before we go to dinner. (And I'm really left wondering if my parents read this.)
 
 
Current Mood: grumpygrumpy
Current Music: The Cranberries - Ode To My Family